Clare Bowditch on knowing your worth

Clare Bowditch is many things. A singer-songwriter, musician, actor, writer, mother and wife. She has won ARIAs and ABIAs for her songs and books, so when she tells us she “almost always feels like a failure” it would be an understatement to say we were surprised.

“I almost always feel like – when it comes to creative projects – I couldn’t finish this one. I couldn’t finish that one,” says Bowditch. “It’s been 11 years since my last album and I’m tortured by it. It’s been a year and a half since I was supposed to put a draft of a book in, I’m tortured by it.”

“It’s a torture that is a privilege,” she continues. “Because I get to make my living taking invisible things out of me and making them physical in the world.”

In the third instalment of our A Room Of One’s Own series, in partnership with VisitCanberra, we swept Clare off her feet and took her to Ngunnawal Country for a creative weekend away. We learned more about the singer-songwriter’s artistic process, how to see the value in our own work, and push through those moments when the work feels impossible.

“For me to have this little break in a beautiful hotel room without all of my clutter and the memories of my failure and the human responsibilities of being a parent and a cat owner… for me that was a dream,” she says.

The artist lives by and leans on the work of other artists to inspire her own work. The fact that they took the time to create something and were brave enough to put it out in the world, is something that both buoys and drives her.

While Bowditch was in Canberra, she saw a performance by English spoken word performer, poet and playwright, Kae Tempest. It validated and motivated her to continue to create in the face of self-doubt.

“I got to go to Canberra and watch this artist in this theatre and feel my heart blow open,” she says. “What a privilege to be there and what a miracle they bothered.”

The writer says this performance was enough to “fuel” her to get back to her hotel room at the A by Adina Canberra and “feel galvanised to make sense of a few more thoughts” for the book she’s currently writing.

The inspiration didn’t stop there. Bowditch visited the The National Film and Sound Archive of Australia and spent the day talking about the ambition of Australian women in music and film with two of her friends.

“We have the most extraordinary history here in Australia,” she says. “We really did some interesting things… The history of Baz Luhrmann and Catherine Martin and how their works came to life is really worth investigating because it will give you courage.”

For Bowditch, courage is crucial to the creative process. Once you have an idea that you want to put out into the world, you have to convince yourself that it is worthy.

“One of the only ways we can ever do anything, or finish anything, is to at some point believe it matters,” she says. “Make the effort to keep proving to yourself that it does matter.”

The musician and writer describes her process as ‘chaotic’, and says bringing any idea into the world is “as messy as having a child.”

“I would love, desperately, to give you the three-step, five-step, 12-step formula,” she says. “And I’d love someone to give it to me. But the truth is, there is so much mess and clutter  that it’s a miracle we can finish anything.”

That weekend, when she wasn’t soaking up what the city had on offer – from dinner at Such and Such or breakfast at Arc Cafe to live performances and attending the Australians and Hollywood: A Tale of Craft, Talent and Ambitionexhibition – Bowditch was writing.

In just a few days, she wrote two songs, an astounding eight thousand words, and proved the late Virginia Woolf was indeed correct. Sometimes one really does just need a room of their own – and a little inspiration – to make miracles.

A Room of One’s Own is proudly supported by VisitCanberra. For more from this series, catch up on Jamila Rizvi and Clementine Ford‘s articles.