Since arriving in Australia a decade ago, I’ve explored what it means to balance tradition and individuality, navigating my identities as an immigrant, a Sri Lankan Muslim woman and a mother. I have explored what it meant to be free of old boundaries and exposed to new choices, as well as how the person I knew myself to be was changing in the face of new environments and challenges.
The freedom to define one’s individuality in a new country and life is a gift in many ways. Yet, there is something deeply comforting in the culture and traditions that you grew up with, and there is a sense of loss in moving away from them.
In my novel Untethered, the main character Zia says, ‘Sometimes I feel like I’ve been split in two, like I’ve left a part of myself behind that I will never find again. And I miss that part of me, that part who knew who I was, where I fit in.’
After ten years of trying to find a balance between tradition and individuality, I’ve learned:
I have discovered that identity can be a fluid thing. That beliefs and ideas you once held with great certainty can be lost or transformed into something new.
You can grieve the loss of the person you once were while being open to the joys of the person you are becoming.
Migrant writers can often find themselves at a crossroads, navigating the tensions between the comfort of tradition and the allure of defining their individuality in a new country.
Yet, in this tension, their most compelling stories emerge – stories that speak to the universal human experience of grappling with identity, belonging, and self-expression.
Letting yourself be vulnerable and expressing your emotional truth in your writing is what readers will most relate to.
There may be certain aspects to a tradition that you will continue to find beautiful and meaningful throughout your life – defining your individuality does not have to mean giving these up.
In Untethered, I weave in many Sri Lankan Muslim traditions, such as prayer, fasting during Ramadan and Eid. I explore how Zia stays true to them in her new life and how they give her some kind of constancy even while she is evolving into a more independent woman and discovering who she could be outside of traditional ways.
My closest friends have been the witnesses to my life, holding memories with me of who I was in a certain place, at a certain time. Old friends have celebrated my growth as a woman and a writer, while new friends have given me the space to explore who I was becoming. I’m grateful for the richness of my friendships and how they have evolved in my life.
As migrants, we will always have a unique perspective on life, constantly navigating a path between the country and people we once called home and the country where we have put down new roots. I encourage you to share this perspective – in your writing, work and relationships – and let it enrich the views of others around you and your own.
Ayesha Inoon is a Sri Lankan-Australian writer. Winner of the ASA/HQ Commercial Fiction Prize 2022, her debut novel, Untethered, is partly based on her experiences as an immigrant Muslim woman. Her feature articles have been published by SBS Australia, The Sunday Times Sri Lanka, Serendib and Explore Sri Lanka.
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